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Modern day Ahabs, hunting the Great White … balloon …

JOE CHIP dreamed a dream , a dream that can unite us all, omnivores, carnivores, vegetarians, vegans, fruitarians, lacto-vegetarians, lacto-ovo-vegetarians, pescetarians, pollotarians, and pollo-pescetarians, the dream of the hunt of the giant pseudo-beasts in the sky that can sustain us all without troubling our consciences.

You Are What You Eat

Those of you who have been subscribing to the analytical reports of the Chip Laboratories since ancient times know of our well founded efforts to ethicise (ha! take that, dictionary) omnivorism.  We are trying folks, we really are.  We have put all of this week’s grant money into considering balloon animals.

Some of you maybe scoffing, as you associate these creatures with parlour games and carnivals.  However, I am not talking about simple domesticated balloon animals.   I am talking about great sweeping herds of massive fortean creatures, blocking the sun on their nomadic trek as passenger pigeons once did sweeping across America.  And no, there would be no reliance on foul, poisonous oxygen.  These are great helium or methane filled beasts, nodding and swaying as they are blown by the currents of wind, just as giant jelly fish are swept across oceans.  Picture them now in your…

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I am the King

Its good to be the king

You may like to click on a few links and see what else your mate has been up to this week.  Your mate has felt very poetic, as well as very Erich von Danikenish.  He has carried out a thorough scientific but also poetic analysis of ancient astronauts and relationships with fathers here.  In a not unrelated vein, he has considered what car God drives and resolved all intra-religious bickering about the issue of evolution here.  It is good to get these things settled and out of the way.

Speaking of things poetical, there is even a ditty about Leonard Cohen picking is nose.

If you did not catch last weeks “Not Trevor”, you may be interested, given the almost psychic way your mate predicted the announcement this week by an Australian scientist that a solution to environmental problems in Australia’s Northern Territory may be to release wild elephants.

Your mate has given advice to a fellow about the marriage his parents have arranged for him.  Heartfelt.  Touching.  Emotional.  Check it out here.

Interested in China and martial arts?  WHY WOULDN’T I BE, MR CHIP? Exaccerly.  This week’s shout out goes to Nathaniel, who can tell you how not to get hit.

This week:  Watched Moon.  Enjoyed it very much, even though they used a forbidden idea.  Read “The Afrika Reich” by Guy Saville – the action keeps rolling, interesting but less plausible than Deighton’s SS-GB, but I get annoyed when I get to the last page and find there is a sequel coming, which is not really a sequel, but a continuation.  Reading “The Watcher” by Charles MacLean – certainly horror, and getting weirder.  Worth a read: “Things we didn’t see coming” by Steve Amsterdam.

It can’t be cliched if its not a gum tree …

waiting for snakes

kookaburra sits in the frangipani doesn't have the same ring

hctrees is a poet.  Your mate is not.  That however has not prevent him posting poems on such classical topics as colonic irrigation, eyes falling out, and the colour blue, here.  You have been warned.

After a quiet period, more has been revealed about Trevor’s domination of Glossolalia, where your mate is unable to maintain relationships with anything human.  These fictions are a distraction from the fiction your mate is supposed to be writing.  Ron Dionne is refusing to be distracted and will be publishing soon.

Continuing on with colonic irrigation (and why wouldn’t we?), your mate has established that it does not taste like chicken here.  Check out his salad, a lot of work went into it.

Is it possible that the Russian spring will mean that for the first time in 22 years, free elections will be held and democratic freedoms returned to the Soviet I mean Russian people.  In-depth analysis here.

Good reads: “Thought Crimes” by Tim Richards; “Mirage Men” by Mark Pilkington; “Best New Horror Vol 22” ed Stephen Jones; “On Evil” by Terry Eagleton.

Your writing isn’t nearly as “creative” as you think it is

ouch, vegan rabbit, for a vegetarian, you drew blood with that one.

“Probably the weirdest blog I’ve encountered so far.”  Thank you Huy Le.  Your mate cannot aspire to be good, but he aspires to be noticed for something.  (Anything?  There’s a damning admission.)

Your mate my mate Joe Chip tries to leave comments as he moves across the blogospheriumacle, picturing himself as a cute pink and white bunny hopping randomly across the place, leaving dainty droppings as he goes.  No, wrong image.  The comments of strangers keeps him going, so he figures his comments might be a tiny dot on someone else’s exclamation mark.  Its nice to know other people are out there and read your stuff.  He accepts that we are all different, but doesn’t that just liven things up?

crazyma123 said “So, I’ve taken that you’ve eaten a rat? Does it taste like chicken? I’ve read your post and a lamb with six legs will not be served on my table!   But as far as there being an “animal seed” to grow animals in our backyard is imaginary and quite GROSS!”  And a fair comment it was, too!
veggiegrl commented:  “I don’t think I could do your detox, you are more hardcore than I am.”  (Thank you veggiegrl, the things you could have said!)
Hardcore!  And GROSS!  Now we are getting somewhere.
“Cory” (who was linked to nothing, and therefore may actually be Skynet) accused your mate of homophobia because your mate has a blog entitled “Not Trevor”, which by definition must be contrary to “The Trevor Project”, which despite his omniscience, your mate had never heard of.  Your mate wishes he had simply called his blog “Not some smarmy manipulative poo head”.  No doubt he would then have been accused of something else.
Your mate thoroughly enjoys his interactions with the blogospheriumacle, and given how stupid his posts are, he marvels at the generosity of others who respond with good humour.  For example,  a very nice person made much kinder comments than your mate deserves right here.Your mate thanks you all very much from the bottom of his imaginary heart.

THE LATEST IN SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY

Was HG Wells right?  Is the future of humanity underground?
Dialectic: should it only be prescribed by a metaphysician?  is there such a thing as a safe dose?
The conversion of crocodiles – the new frontier in vegetarianism
“It tastes like chicken” – a list of finger’ lickin’ good chicken taste-a-likes
This week in science and technology – read it here.